Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark... don't worry, I'm not.
Don't Be Afraid of the Dark Fails at fundamental story telling.
Here, I'll tell you the story.
In the year 1910, a man named Mr.Blackwood lures his maid down into the basement, where he accosts her and knocks out her teeth with a chisel, killing her. He offers her teeth (and his own) to a hoard of mysterious creatures living in his furnace, in hopes that the offering will make them give him his son back. The creatures are unsatisfied as the teeth did not come from children. So they pull Blackwood into the furnace and down into their cavernous world, killing him.
Cut to present day.
A little girl named Sally is forced to move in with her father, Alex, and his new girlfriend Kim. They are in the process of renovating Blackwoods old mansion, unaware of the danger lurking beneath. Kim tries her best to bond with Sally and make her feel at home, but to no avail. While Sally is exploring the back garden of the house, she discovers a basement, but is quickly scolded for being in the back garden, by Mr. Harris, the mansion's caretaker, because it's "dangerous, especially for children". Alex knocks down a wall and finds a door leading to the newly discovered basement. Mr. Harris is reluctant about being down there, but is ignored by Alex and Kim. Sally then hears voices coming form the bolted up old furnace. Later on, Sally uses some of the construction workers tools to open up the furnace, as the voices promise her friendship and understanding. She is interrupted half way, by Alex who she tells about the voices, but Alex just thinks that she's imagining things. As Sally leaves the basement, the creatures pry the last bolt on the furnace loose and escape. Over the following days, the creatures attempt to commune with Sally, but she becomes increasingly more afraid of them as they begin to frame her for misdeeds like ripping up Kim's clothes and stealing from Alex. Sally also discovers that the creatures are sensitive to light. One day, she goes down to the basement and attempts to talk to the creatures, offering them raisins. Mr. Harris arrives and yells at her to leave the basement, he tries to close the furnace but is attacked by the creatures who lacerate him with tools and box cutters as punishment for attempting to warn the family. Mr. Harris is rushed to hospital, but Alex assumes that it was just an accident. Kim starts to believe Sally that something more sinister is afoot, but is unable to convince Alex. Kim goes to the library to research the history of Blackwood's house. Blackwood was apparently a talented painter and artists who drew things from nature, but toward the end of his life (before his mysterious disappearance) he began to draw strange, gothic things, some of which match Sally's own artwork of the creatures. These creatures apparently eat the bones and teeth of children to replenish their ranks each time they emerge. Kim also speaks with Mr. Harris on the hospital, who says that he used to live in the house as a child, and that his own grandfather had blocked up the creature's passageway long ago. Sally is attacked by the creatures in the bathtub, but is rescued. Kim warns Alex of the danger, but he ignores her pleas to get Sally out of the house, still refusing to believe in the creatures. He then holds a dinner party to impress his boss with the completion of the house, during which, Sally is attacked by the creatures once more in the library, but this time manages to get a Polaroid picture of them as proof to her father. Alex ends the party, and makes plans with Kim to leave with Sally. That night, the creatures make their final assault, cutting power to the house and separating Alex from Kim and Sally. Slowly, Sally is dragged to the basement by the creatures, but Kim cuts the rope they are dragging her with, at the cost of her own life. The creatures pull Kim into their caverns, as Alex arrives too late to help her. In the films epilogue, Sally and Alex return to the once more empty house, and leave a drawing Sally did as a tribute to Kim. In the basement, the creatures voices can be heard through the once again sealed furnace. It is apparent that Kim has become one of them, and now leads them in waiting for new victims.
Now that we've gotten that out of the way, I'll go on to explain why this film was such a disappointment. Y'see, I don't usually go to horror movies, it's not my thing, I'll see a Freddy or Jason movie when it comes out, but those don't really scare me. So when a horror movie comes out that I actually want to be scared by, I expect the best. With a title like Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark I thought I was going to be sleeping with the light on for a week, especially when it's being directed by Guillermo Del Toro, who's a master at making scary and interesting looking creatures. I'll dissect this film into sections for you.
We'll start with...
The Setting and Imagery.
This film is set in one of the scariest places I can imagine, a big, old, Victorian era house. Complete with a library, a spooky basement, and a moss covered backyard. It's a location that can rival The Shining . However, much of this haunting imagery is never exploited. Throughout the film, there is shown to be a nature motif to the house, decorative deer antlers and old trees in the garden. I thought maybe that there would be a significance to them, maybe they would help defeat the creatures, or maybe the creatures would at one point, at least attack someone in the garden. This is not the case however, as most of the attacks and scary scenes happen in one of two places, the child's bedroom, and the basement. Now while these two locations are pretty damn scary, I was hoping for more. Del Toro has a real eye for fantasy imagery, and it really shows, but there is one location that we unfortunately never get to see. The caverns where the creatures live. I was really hoping to see what it looked like down there, was it a network of caves and tunnels? or was it like a hellish sub-world, unreachable by traditional means which is why no one ever dug it up by mistake? and exactly how far down did it go? Anyway, I guess keeping it mysterious wouldn't have been so bad if the rest of the film had been better.
Now, onto The Characters, and why they were wrong. Every character in this movie is based off a classical archetype from a horror movie setting, but there's something wrong with them, they either behave the wrong way, or don't get used in the story enough until it's too late.
I'll start with Sally, who for all intents and purposes is the main character. In a film where the antagonists' soul goal is to capture and eat children, you'd better hope that the audience likes the children more than the monsters. Typically, when a child is feeling homesick or out of place, they should have a personality that the audience likes, so that we sympathize with their plight. Unfortunately, this isn't the way it goes. In a fantasy setting, the children should have a sense of wonder about them, they should be friendly, sweet, and imaginative... but Sally isn't any of those things. Instead she's one of those new-age, self aware, high strung brats, who was brought up by an overbearing mother. While her father and step mom bend over backwards to make her feel at home, despite being very busy renovating the house, Sally just pushes them away and continues to mope. What they should have done is make her friendly and personable, but have the adults be too busy to really pay attention to her, so when the creatures offer her friendship, it makes sense for her to want to free them. Sally didn't seem like the type of kid who would be dumb enough to let spooky whispering creatures out of the creepy basement, but I guess the writers don't agree with me.
Now let's talk about Alex, the father. This guy is the biggest idiot in the entire movie, for way longer than he should be. It's normal for his type of character to be skeptical about what's going on, but after a certain point they should wise up! The first couple of times Sally is attacked by the creatures, Alex just chocks it up to over imagination and cries for attention, which is understandable, but later on as the attacks become much more violent, consisting of one man almost being stabbed to death, and Sally having to be rescued by the house maid from the bathroom, he still seems oblivious! It's especially annoying during the film's climax, at the moment where he should have become the Super Dad, that kills a bunch of the creatures and makes up for being an idiot earlier, he still manages to do nothing except get trapped in the kitchen and let his girlfriend die. If I found out that my child was being hunted by tooth eating shadow goblins, I would be watching her like a hawk over it's nest, and apologizing profusely for not believing sooner. Now, Kim the step mom, is actually the least hate-able character. She tries to be nice to Sally, and protects her throughout the film because she remembers having a difficult childhood herself. Her bonding with Sally is done pretty well, and I did feel a slight bit of sadness at her death in the end, but it still bothers me that she spends more time with the child than the actual parent does.
One more character that I want to talk about, is Mr. Harris. Mr. Harris fills the role of one of the most well known horror movie archetypes, that I like to call "The Old Man Who Knows". This character is pretty easy to spot, first off, he'll be old, and he'll usually be a man. He knows the history of the house or other area where the main characters are going off to, and he'll always be the first to tell them "Don't go down that rawd, it's dangerous!" or "That house is cursed", but he'll often be ignored and thought of as crazy. In the film, Mr. Harris is attacked by the creatures after he stops them from killing Sally. They are apparently punishing him for betraying them. I thought this was sort of a good twist, revealing that Harris was more involved with the creatures than we were lead to believe. It's a spin on the classic archetype, but after that scene, he is barley involved beyond telling Kim some vague information about the house. What would have been good is to reveal that for a number of years, Mr. Harris worked for the creatures, bringing them sacrifices, on their empty promise that a loved one would be returned (maybe a daughter, which would give him a paternal connection to Sally) but when he realized he was being decived, he sealed up the furnace himself. Then at the end of the film, he returns to help the characters at the cost of his own life as a final act of redemption. Maybe he could have even taken Kim's place as the one to be dragged away. THAT would have been interesting and a lot more emotionally engaging.
Now last but not least, we'll talk about the creatures themselves. First off, I thought we learned from films like Jaws that less is more. They show way too much of the creatures way too early. The fear of the unknown is what drives a horror or suspense movie, so when you show the audience the monster right away, it ruins that crucial element and we no longer feel afraid. M. Night Shyamalan, regardless of how you feel about him, is really good at this, he always keeps us in the dark about what the monster looks like, which keeps us interested. So anyway, it should be noted that these monsters are roughly the size of pet store rats, which may be scary if you're a 6 or 7 year old girl, but for a full grown adult, it's nothing a heavy shovel and a good pair of boots can't fix. Now while they still are pretty scary looking, and they do some really spooky stuff when trying to coax Sally into trusting them, their diminutive stature completely dissolves them as a believable threat for anyone above 4 feet. They would've been more intimidating if they were at least the size of Gremlins, but then I guess we would run the risk of people accusing this film of ripping off Gremlins (even though this is a remake of a TV movie which predates Gremlins by 11 years). So, anyway, these creatures apparently feast on the bones and teeth of children, and must take a victim back with them to their underworld to replenish their ranks each time the emerge. It's never explained how this works, which annoys me, because something like that seems worth knowing. Also, why is it so important that the creatures replenish their ranks, since it seems like they can live for a very long time without food?. I mean the last time they could have possibly been out of their cavers was on the 1920's or so. One more thing, if you'll notice, the alpha of the creatures appears to be a transformed Mr. Blacwood (I guess he's the alpha because he's bigger, since the rest of them are probably children) so that means these things can live for hundreds of years. Like I said, it wouldn't be so bad keeping it a mystery if the rest of the film had been good.
Now I will scrutinize over other things. As I said, this film failed at fundamental story telling, but I don't mean that the story itself is bad. On the whole, this film has a pretty standard plot, nothing really original about it, but even the most basic stories when told well can seem new to us (are you paying attention, James Cameron?... I bet not) but that's not what I'm talking about. The fact is, this film just has so many plot holes and lapses in logic that it makes things really frustrating for a smart movie goer.
#1) The Bathroom Scene
Sally is taking a bath, and the creatures manage to switch off the lights from the vent using a bent piece of wire. The slowly approach her but she panics and makes her way to the door, but they cut her off and force her back, she jumps back into the tub and closes the shower curtains, which for some reason the monsters have an extremely hard time getting through. Soon enough, the house maid and a group of construction workers hear her screams and come to pry open the locked door to rescue her. The creatures slip away unnoticed (which is something they have a talent for) leaving the maid to see Sally cowering in the bathtub beneath a ripped up shower curtain. This scene doesn't make sense for two reasons. First, this maid character has been in the film almost the whole time, she was there to witness Mr. Harris stagger out of the basement all bloody and seems to be the only other person paying any mind to Sally besides Kim. Now she finds the child panic stricken and obviously having been attacked, but still doesn't bother to investigate the situation, and neither do any of the construction workers who come to help. The second reason this scene makes no sense is that the creatures chose a pretty inopportune time to make their move. Remember, their goal is not just to kill her, but to make her into one of them so that they may replenish their ranks. Taking her from the bathroom would mean that they would have to drag her downstairs, through the main hall of the house, and into the basement, all without being seen by the maid or anyone else (during the day time). Unless their plan was to sneak her through the vents, but I doubt she would be able to fit. If you ask me, this scene should have involved Kim instead, it would have made more sense if the creatures were trying to kill her to get her out of the way, and it would have been a good excuse to show Katie Holmes in the shower.
#2) The Party Scene
Kim gives Sally a Polaroid camera to take pictures of the guests (we'll just ignore that it would be virtually impossible to get film for such a camera in 2011) . At one point, she actually manages to get a photo of one of the creatures hiding in a potted plant, and brings it to the dinner table to watch it develop. As Alex is making a speech, a few of the party guests try to get a look at Sally's picture, but she doesn't let them! Now, the entire film, she's been trying to convince people that these creatures are real, but now that she has physical proof, for some reason she wants to keep it a secret. You could maybe argue that she only wanted to show her father, thinking that anyone else would just assume the creature was some sort of rodent and thus become disenchanted with the house, but honestly I don't think the girl is that concerned with making sure her dad's boss is impressed. Anythewho, eventually the creatures get the picture from Sally, rip it up, and scurry off. Sally follows them out of the dining room and into the library where they, unsurprisingly, have set a trap. She frantically snaps pictures at them as they knock books off the high shelves (once again the creatures choose a very inopportune time to make their move) . Alex and the party guests come to her aid, and Sally shows him a picture of one of the creatures. The guests just decide that the evening is over and take their leave, they never ask any questions or wonder how a six year old managed to reach the books on the high shelves to throw them. It would also be good to point out that Sally actually crushes one of the creatures in a sliding book case, severing it's arm. Why didn't she show that to anyone? What would have been better is to have the party goes off without a hitch, and toward the end of the evening, Sally is frightened by the idea of an empty house and begs guests not to leave, but they all just think that she's being sweet and leave anyway. This would make the impending attack more terrifying for the audience.
#3) The Climax
So finally Alex has wised up and he and Kim prepare to move to a motel with Sally, but instead of keeping her by their side the whole time, they put her to bed and say that they'll wake her up when they get there. I'm sure I don't even need to explain why this is stupid. Anyway, the creatures make their move by incapacitating Kim and locking Alex in the garage, attempting to kill him with carbon monoxide from his car. They rope Sally's feet and begin to drag her into the basement as Kim struggles to help. Meanwhile, Alex escapes the garage, but then gets locked in the kitchen, so he bashes his way out with a meat tenderizing hammer, which seems like the perfect weapon to use against demon gerbils. Once free, he drops the hammer and rushes to the basement just in time to see Kim get dragged to her doom. Okay, so Kim and Sally pretty much did what I expected them to do, but I'm not about to let Alex off the hook. What the writers should have done, is have Alex go into a protective rage, stomping and crushing the creatures in attempt to get to his loved ones as the creatures scurry away in panic. This probably would have made the audience actually like him, because it would show that he really did try his best, but instead only one of the little buggers is killed... by Sally, who crushes it to death with her camera.
Foot Notes:
1. If the creatures wanted Sally so bad, why did they go to such elaborate means to obtain her? They could have easily just sneaked into the parents room in the middle of the night, slit both their throats, and then taken Sally with little hassle.
2. Why was there no police investigation? After Mr. Harris is attacked (or as Alex believes, injured by mistake) why didn't any one of the workers or the maid think to tell the cops that something weird was going on? And surely the doctors at the hospital would have been able to tell that Mr. Harris' wounds were not accidental. Then after Kim is taken below, how did Alex explain that away? The police aren't usually satisfied by a simple answer like "She disappeared".
3. When Alex and Sally return to the house to pay tribute to Kim, it's apparent that the place has gone back up for sale... instead of having been condemned (or burnt to the ground). What's to stop the next owner from unsealing the furnace again? Also why didn't Alex take more precautions to ensure the creatures don't come back? He should have hired an exterminator to pump poisonous gas into the furnace non stop for six weeks! Or hired contractors to fill the hole with cement, since it seems to be their only way up. For that matter, these things are mentioned to be thousands of years old and seen all over the world, does this mean there are more?.
4. Why are these creatures so picky about what they eat? It's explained in the film that these things once ran amok in the dark ages, snatching up children left and right for their (apparently delicious) teeth. Then at some point, a bargain was struck that people would leave child's teeth under their pillows for the creatures in exchange for pieces of silver (hmm.. that sounds familiar). Now though, the creatures don't have that luxury, but still insist on going after children in particular, when it seems like adult victims work just fine (both Blackwood and Kim are taken and transformed). If I were them, I would start going after big adults instead so that I could produce bigger monsters and therefor be more threatening.
5. WHY DON'T YOU IDIOTS JUST STEP ON THEM! They're like less than a foot tall and can easily be warded off with a flashlight! Grab a shovel or a croquet mallet and go to town on these things! Kick 'em if you have to!
6. So yeah, through dialogue, it's implied that these creatures are the mythological basis for Tooth Fairies. Which would be sort of cool, except Guillermo Del Toro already showed us much cooler looking tooth fairies in Hellboy 2. These tooth fairies actually scared me, acting like a swarm of locusts, despite being easily killed by Hellboy. They should have just sent Hellboy into Blackwood's house to kill the creatures, that would have been cool. I guess what I'm saying is I'd like Guillermo Del Toro to go ahead and make Hellboy 3.
The End. I hope you enjoyed my analysis of this film, and that it convinced you not to waste your money like my friend and I did.
Here, I'll tell you the story.
In the year 1910, a man named Mr.Blackwood lures his maid down into the basement, where he accosts her and knocks out her teeth with a chisel, killing her. He offers her teeth (and his own) to a hoard of mysterious creatures living in his furnace, in hopes that the offering will make them give him his son back. The creatures are unsatisfied as the teeth did not come from children. So they pull Blackwood into the furnace and down into their cavernous world, killing him.
Cut to present day.
A little girl named Sally is forced to move in with her father, Alex, and his new girlfriend Kim. They are in the process of renovating Blackwoods old mansion, unaware of the danger lurking beneath. Kim tries her best to bond with Sally and make her feel at home, but to no avail. While Sally is exploring the back garden of the house, she discovers a basement, but is quickly scolded for being in the back garden, by Mr. Harris, the mansion's caretaker, because it's "dangerous, especially for children". Alex knocks down a wall and finds a door leading to the newly discovered basement. Mr. Harris is reluctant about being down there, but is ignored by Alex and Kim. Sally then hears voices coming form the bolted up old furnace. Later on, Sally uses some of the construction workers tools to open up the furnace, as the voices promise her friendship and understanding. She is interrupted half way, by Alex who she tells about the voices, but Alex just thinks that she's imagining things. As Sally leaves the basement, the creatures pry the last bolt on the furnace loose and escape. Over the following days, the creatures attempt to commune with Sally, but she becomes increasingly more afraid of them as they begin to frame her for misdeeds like ripping up Kim's clothes and stealing from Alex. Sally also discovers that the creatures are sensitive to light. One day, she goes down to the basement and attempts to talk to the creatures, offering them raisins. Mr. Harris arrives and yells at her to leave the basement, he tries to close the furnace but is attacked by the creatures who lacerate him with tools and box cutters as punishment for attempting to warn the family. Mr. Harris is rushed to hospital, but Alex assumes that it was just an accident. Kim starts to believe Sally that something more sinister is afoot, but is unable to convince Alex. Kim goes to the library to research the history of Blackwood's house. Blackwood was apparently a talented painter and artists who drew things from nature, but toward the end of his life (before his mysterious disappearance) he began to draw strange, gothic things, some of which match Sally's own artwork of the creatures. These creatures apparently eat the bones and teeth of children to replenish their ranks each time they emerge. Kim also speaks with Mr. Harris on the hospital, who says that he used to live in the house as a child, and that his own grandfather had blocked up the creature's passageway long ago. Sally is attacked by the creatures in the bathtub, but is rescued. Kim warns Alex of the danger, but he ignores her pleas to get Sally out of the house, still refusing to believe in the creatures. He then holds a dinner party to impress his boss with the completion of the house, during which, Sally is attacked by the creatures once more in the library, but this time manages to get a Polaroid picture of them as proof to her father. Alex ends the party, and makes plans with Kim to leave with Sally. That night, the creatures make their final assault, cutting power to the house and separating Alex from Kim and Sally. Slowly, Sally is dragged to the basement by the creatures, but Kim cuts the rope they are dragging her with, at the cost of her own life. The creatures pull Kim into their caverns, as Alex arrives too late to help her. In the films epilogue, Sally and Alex return to the once more empty house, and leave a drawing Sally did as a tribute to Kim. In the basement, the creatures voices can be heard through the once again sealed furnace. It is apparent that Kim has become one of them, and now leads them in waiting for new victims.
Now that we've gotten that out of the way, I'll go on to explain why this film was such a disappointment. Y'see, I don't usually go to horror movies, it's not my thing, I'll see a Freddy or Jason movie when it comes out, but those don't really scare me. So when a horror movie comes out that I actually want to be scared by, I expect the best. With a title like Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark I thought I was going to be sleeping with the light on for a week, especially when it's being directed by Guillermo Del Toro, who's a master at making scary and interesting looking creatures. I'll dissect this film into sections for you.
We'll start with...
The Setting and Imagery.
This film is set in one of the scariest places I can imagine, a big, old, Victorian era house. Complete with a library, a spooky basement, and a moss covered backyard. It's a location that can rival The Shining . However, much of this haunting imagery is never exploited. Throughout the film, there is shown to be a nature motif to the house, decorative deer antlers and old trees in the garden. I thought maybe that there would be a significance to them, maybe they would help defeat the creatures, or maybe the creatures would at one point, at least attack someone in the garden. This is not the case however, as most of the attacks and scary scenes happen in one of two places, the child's bedroom, and the basement. Now while these two locations are pretty damn scary, I was hoping for more. Del Toro has a real eye for fantasy imagery, and it really shows, but there is one location that we unfortunately never get to see. The caverns where the creatures live. I was really hoping to see what it looked like down there, was it a network of caves and tunnels? or was it like a hellish sub-world, unreachable by traditional means which is why no one ever dug it up by mistake? and exactly how far down did it go? Anyway, I guess keeping it mysterious wouldn't have been so bad if the rest of the film had been better.
Now, onto The Characters, and why they were wrong. Every character in this movie is based off a classical archetype from a horror movie setting, but there's something wrong with them, they either behave the wrong way, or don't get used in the story enough until it's too late.
I'll start with Sally, who for all intents and purposes is the main character. In a film where the antagonists' soul goal is to capture and eat children, you'd better hope that the audience likes the children more than the monsters. Typically, when a child is feeling homesick or out of place, they should have a personality that the audience likes, so that we sympathize with their plight. Unfortunately, this isn't the way it goes. In a fantasy setting, the children should have a sense of wonder about them, they should be friendly, sweet, and imaginative... but Sally isn't any of those things. Instead she's one of those new-age, self aware, high strung brats, who was brought up by an overbearing mother. While her father and step mom bend over backwards to make her feel at home, despite being very busy renovating the house, Sally just pushes them away and continues to mope. What they should have done is make her friendly and personable, but have the adults be too busy to really pay attention to her, so when the creatures offer her friendship, it makes sense for her to want to free them. Sally didn't seem like the type of kid who would be dumb enough to let spooky whispering creatures out of the creepy basement, but I guess the writers don't agree with me.
Now let's talk about Alex, the father. This guy is the biggest idiot in the entire movie, for way longer than he should be. It's normal for his type of character to be skeptical about what's going on, but after a certain point they should wise up! The first couple of times Sally is attacked by the creatures, Alex just chocks it up to over imagination and cries for attention, which is understandable, but later on as the attacks become much more violent, consisting of one man almost being stabbed to death, and Sally having to be rescued by the house maid from the bathroom, he still seems oblivious! It's especially annoying during the film's climax, at the moment where he should have become the Super Dad, that kills a bunch of the creatures and makes up for being an idiot earlier, he still manages to do nothing except get trapped in the kitchen and let his girlfriend die. If I found out that my child was being hunted by tooth eating shadow goblins, I would be watching her like a hawk over it's nest, and apologizing profusely for not believing sooner. Now, Kim the step mom, is actually the least hate-able character. She tries to be nice to Sally, and protects her throughout the film because she remembers having a difficult childhood herself. Her bonding with Sally is done pretty well, and I did feel a slight bit of sadness at her death in the end, but it still bothers me that she spends more time with the child than the actual parent does.
One more character that I want to talk about, is Mr. Harris. Mr. Harris fills the role of one of the most well known horror movie archetypes, that I like to call "The Old Man Who Knows". This character is pretty easy to spot, first off, he'll be old, and he'll usually be a man. He knows the history of the house or other area where the main characters are going off to, and he'll always be the first to tell them "Don't go down that rawd, it's dangerous!" or "That house is cursed", but he'll often be ignored and thought of as crazy. In the film, Mr. Harris is attacked by the creatures after he stops them from killing Sally. They are apparently punishing him for betraying them. I thought this was sort of a good twist, revealing that Harris was more involved with the creatures than we were lead to believe. It's a spin on the classic archetype, but after that scene, he is barley involved beyond telling Kim some vague information about the house. What would have been good is to reveal that for a number of years, Mr. Harris worked for the creatures, bringing them sacrifices, on their empty promise that a loved one would be returned (maybe a daughter, which would give him a paternal connection to Sally) but when he realized he was being decived, he sealed up the furnace himself. Then at the end of the film, he returns to help the characters at the cost of his own life as a final act of redemption. Maybe he could have even taken Kim's place as the one to be dragged away. THAT would have been interesting and a lot more emotionally engaging.
Now last but not least, we'll talk about the creatures themselves. First off, I thought we learned from films like Jaws that less is more. They show way too much of the creatures way too early. The fear of the unknown is what drives a horror or suspense movie, so when you show the audience the monster right away, it ruins that crucial element and we no longer feel afraid. M. Night Shyamalan, regardless of how you feel about him, is really good at this, he always keeps us in the dark about what the monster looks like, which keeps us interested. So anyway, it should be noted that these monsters are roughly the size of pet store rats, which may be scary if you're a 6 or 7 year old girl, but for a full grown adult, it's nothing a heavy shovel and a good pair of boots can't fix. Now while they still are pretty scary looking, and they do some really spooky stuff when trying to coax Sally into trusting them, their diminutive stature completely dissolves them as a believable threat for anyone above 4 feet. They would've been more intimidating if they were at least the size of Gremlins, but then I guess we would run the risk of people accusing this film of ripping off Gremlins (even though this is a remake of a TV movie which predates Gremlins by 11 years). So, anyway, these creatures apparently feast on the bones and teeth of children, and must take a victim back with them to their underworld to replenish their ranks each time the emerge. It's never explained how this works, which annoys me, because something like that seems worth knowing. Also, why is it so important that the creatures replenish their ranks, since it seems like they can live for a very long time without food?. I mean the last time they could have possibly been out of their cavers was on the 1920's or so. One more thing, if you'll notice, the alpha of the creatures appears to be a transformed Mr. Blacwood (I guess he's the alpha because he's bigger, since the rest of them are probably children) so that means these things can live for hundreds of years. Like I said, it wouldn't be so bad keeping it a mystery if the rest of the film had been good.
Now I will scrutinize over other things. As I said, this film failed at fundamental story telling, but I don't mean that the story itself is bad. On the whole, this film has a pretty standard plot, nothing really original about it, but even the most basic stories when told well can seem new to us (are you paying attention, James Cameron?... I bet not) but that's not what I'm talking about. The fact is, this film just has so many plot holes and lapses in logic that it makes things really frustrating for a smart movie goer.
#1) The Bathroom Scene
Sally is taking a bath, and the creatures manage to switch off the lights from the vent using a bent piece of wire. The slowly approach her but she panics and makes her way to the door, but they cut her off and force her back, she jumps back into the tub and closes the shower curtains, which for some reason the monsters have an extremely hard time getting through. Soon enough, the house maid and a group of construction workers hear her screams and come to pry open the locked door to rescue her. The creatures slip away unnoticed (which is something they have a talent for) leaving the maid to see Sally cowering in the bathtub beneath a ripped up shower curtain. This scene doesn't make sense for two reasons. First, this maid character has been in the film almost the whole time, she was there to witness Mr. Harris stagger out of the basement all bloody and seems to be the only other person paying any mind to Sally besides Kim. Now she finds the child panic stricken and obviously having been attacked, but still doesn't bother to investigate the situation, and neither do any of the construction workers who come to help. The second reason this scene makes no sense is that the creatures chose a pretty inopportune time to make their move. Remember, their goal is not just to kill her, but to make her into one of them so that they may replenish their ranks. Taking her from the bathroom would mean that they would have to drag her downstairs, through the main hall of the house, and into the basement, all without being seen by the maid or anyone else (during the day time). Unless their plan was to sneak her through the vents, but I doubt she would be able to fit. If you ask me, this scene should have involved Kim instead, it would have made more sense if the creatures were trying to kill her to get her out of the way, and it would have been a good excuse to show Katie Holmes in the shower.
#2) The Party Scene
Kim gives Sally a Polaroid camera to take pictures of the guests (we'll just ignore that it would be virtually impossible to get film for such a camera in 2011) . At one point, she actually manages to get a photo of one of the creatures hiding in a potted plant, and brings it to the dinner table to watch it develop. As Alex is making a speech, a few of the party guests try to get a look at Sally's picture, but she doesn't let them! Now, the entire film, she's been trying to convince people that these creatures are real, but now that she has physical proof, for some reason she wants to keep it a secret. You could maybe argue that she only wanted to show her father, thinking that anyone else would just assume the creature was some sort of rodent and thus become disenchanted with the house, but honestly I don't think the girl is that concerned with making sure her dad's boss is impressed. Anythewho, eventually the creatures get the picture from Sally, rip it up, and scurry off. Sally follows them out of the dining room and into the library where they, unsurprisingly, have set a trap. She frantically snaps pictures at them as they knock books off the high shelves (once again the creatures choose a very inopportune time to make their move) . Alex and the party guests come to her aid, and Sally shows him a picture of one of the creatures. The guests just decide that the evening is over and take their leave, they never ask any questions or wonder how a six year old managed to reach the books on the high shelves to throw them. It would also be good to point out that Sally actually crushes one of the creatures in a sliding book case, severing it's arm. Why didn't she show that to anyone? What would have been better is to have the party goes off without a hitch, and toward the end of the evening, Sally is frightened by the idea of an empty house and begs guests not to leave, but they all just think that she's being sweet and leave anyway. This would make the impending attack more terrifying for the audience.
#3) The Climax
So finally Alex has wised up and he and Kim prepare to move to a motel with Sally, but instead of keeping her by their side the whole time, they put her to bed and say that they'll wake her up when they get there. I'm sure I don't even need to explain why this is stupid. Anyway, the creatures make their move by incapacitating Kim and locking Alex in the garage, attempting to kill him with carbon monoxide from his car. They rope Sally's feet and begin to drag her into the basement as Kim struggles to help. Meanwhile, Alex escapes the garage, but then gets locked in the kitchen, so he bashes his way out with a meat tenderizing hammer, which seems like the perfect weapon to use against demon gerbils. Once free, he drops the hammer and rushes to the basement just in time to see Kim get dragged to her doom. Okay, so Kim and Sally pretty much did what I expected them to do, but I'm not about to let Alex off the hook. What the writers should have done, is have Alex go into a protective rage, stomping and crushing the creatures in attempt to get to his loved ones as the creatures scurry away in panic. This probably would have made the audience actually like him, because it would show that he really did try his best, but instead only one of the little buggers is killed... by Sally, who crushes it to death with her camera.
Foot Notes:
1. If the creatures wanted Sally so bad, why did they go to such elaborate means to obtain her? They could have easily just sneaked into the parents room in the middle of the night, slit both their throats, and then taken Sally with little hassle.
2. Why was there no police investigation? After Mr. Harris is attacked (or as Alex believes, injured by mistake) why didn't any one of the workers or the maid think to tell the cops that something weird was going on? And surely the doctors at the hospital would have been able to tell that Mr. Harris' wounds were not accidental. Then after Kim is taken below, how did Alex explain that away? The police aren't usually satisfied by a simple answer like "She disappeared".
3. When Alex and Sally return to the house to pay tribute to Kim, it's apparent that the place has gone back up for sale... instead of having been condemned (or burnt to the ground). What's to stop the next owner from unsealing the furnace again? Also why didn't Alex take more precautions to ensure the creatures don't come back? He should have hired an exterminator to pump poisonous gas into the furnace non stop for six weeks! Or hired contractors to fill the hole with cement, since it seems to be their only way up. For that matter, these things are mentioned to be thousands of years old and seen all over the world, does this mean there are more?.
4. Why are these creatures so picky about what they eat? It's explained in the film that these things once ran amok in the dark ages, snatching up children left and right for their (apparently delicious) teeth. Then at some point, a bargain was struck that people would leave child's teeth under their pillows for the creatures in exchange for pieces of silver (hmm.. that sounds familiar). Now though, the creatures don't have that luxury, but still insist on going after children in particular, when it seems like adult victims work just fine (both Blackwood and Kim are taken and transformed). If I were them, I would start going after big adults instead so that I could produce bigger monsters and therefor be more threatening.
5. WHY DON'T YOU IDIOTS JUST STEP ON THEM! They're like less than a foot tall and can easily be warded off with a flashlight! Grab a shovel or a croquet mallet and go to town on these things! Kick 'em if you have to!
6. So yeah, through dialogue, it's implied that these creatures are the mythological basis for Tooth Fairies. Which would be sort of cool, except Guillermo Del Toro already showed us much cooler looking tooth fairies in Hellboy 2. These tooth fairies actually scared me, acting like a swarm of locusts, despite being easily killed by Hellboy. They should have just sent Hellboy into Blackwood's house to kill the creatures, that would have been cool. I guess what I'm saying is I'd like Guillermo Del Toro to go ahead and make Hellboy 3.
The End. I hope you enjoyed my analysis of this film, and that it convinced you not to waste your money like my friend and I did.
Friday, August 26, 2011
The Star Wars Prequels. If I had my way... Part 1
Episode I
On the Republic capital world of Coruscant, an attempt is made on the life of Supreme Chancellor Valorum as he is walking out of the Senate Building by a mystery assassin. Fearing that his own security may not be enough, Valorum asks for help from the Jedi Knights. Master Qui-Gon Jinn and his disciple, Obi-Wan Kenobi are assigned the task of protecting the Chancellor. Kenobi is adventurous and eager for excitement, by contrast, Jinn is soft spoken and reserved. Whilst on guard duty, the two discus how they both sense a disturbance in the force. Inevitably, another attempt is made on the Chancellor's life, this time in his private residence. The assassin is once again unsuccessful thanks to the intervention of the two Jedi. The assassin flees on foot and a chase ensues. Upon capturing the killer, Jinn and Kenobi attempt to question him, he refuses until they use the Jedi mind trick, but before he can deliver so much as a name, he is killed from long distance by someone else. The Jedi pursue the shooter via speeder to a small hanger bay. The 2nd assassin boards a ship and takes off, unknown to him however, Kenobi and Jinn have stowed away on board, hoping that he will lead them to whomever is behind the assassination attempts. Meanwhile, Chancellor Valorum is attempting to regain his composure when he is killed by two members of his own security personnel. Other guards come to his aid and kill the traitors, but are too late to save him. Upon removing the false guards helmets, they are shocked to find not men, but hideous creatures of unknown origin.
Meanwhile, Kenobi and Jinn, still hiding aboard the assassin's ship, arrive on a mysterious planet in the Outer Rim. The assassin leaves his ship in a small hanger and enters a large industrial facility with Qui-Gin and Kenobi quietly following him. He approaches a mysterious black cloaked figure and informs him of his failure to assassinate the Chancellor. The black figure proceeds to Force strangle him until he is told to relinquish by another man surrounded by guards. Qui-Gon identifies him as "Dooku". Dooku assures the black figure that the assassination has been successfully carried out. The Jedi follow Dooku and his two henchmen further into the lair and discover that it is a massive cloning facility. Dooku speaks with an alien scientist about the state of the clones, the scientist informs Dooku that the clones will soon be ready for combat. Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon realize that Dooku is planning to use these clones to start a war with the Republic. They know that they have to return to Corusant to warn the senate of this impending attack, but before they can leave, the black figure notices them and orders the guards to fire. The Jedi activate their lightsabers and deflect the blaster bolts as they retreat. Dooku orders the black figure to kill the assassin for allowing himself to be followed. He then instructs the black figure he calls "Lord Maul" to pursue the Jedi and make sure they don't escape.
Jinn and Kenobi commandeer the assassins ship and attempt to leave the planet, but are chased by Lord Maul and a squad of fighters. Kenobi mounts the ships turret and destroys the fighters just before making the jump to light speed. Only Maul is left alive to follow them. While they have a moment of rest from the combat, Qui-Gon tells Obi-Wan about Dooku. He explains that Dooku was once his master and a great Jedi Knight, but became disillusioned with the ways of the Jedi and their willingness to be (as he saw it) servants of the Republic. Suddenly the Jedi are alerted to a problem with their ship, one of the engines was damaged in the fight and is in danger of blowing out. They are forced to land on the nearby planet of Tatooine. They land on the outskirts of the town of Mos Espa where they head in search of a replacement engine. On their way, they come across a man being beaten up by a group of thugs, they come to his aid and send the thugs running off. The man thanks the Jedi and introduces himself as Jar Jar Binks. Binks explains that he is down on his luck, constantly, and is often getting into trouble with people whom he owes money. He takes them to a mechanic/junk dealer whom he promises can fix their ship quickly.
Meanwhile, back on Corusant, the Senate is in process of nominating a new Chancellor in the absence of Velorum, among those nominated are Senator Bail Organa, and Senator Palpatine, Velorum's former adviser.
Back on Tatooine, the Jedi meet with Watto who informs them that he does indeed have the part they require, it will take a few days to repair. While Jinn and Watto are discussing payment, Obi-Wan meets one of Watto's slaves, a young man named Anakin Skywalker. Anakin is good spirited, and dreams of one day being able to free himself and his family from slavery, and exploring the Galaxy. He lives with his mother, Shmi, and his sister, Beru whom are also slaves to Watto. Very quickly, Obi-Wan senses Anakin has a strong connection with the force, he discusses it with Qui-Gon, who feels the same. Anakin invites the Jedi to stay at his home for the night while their ship is repaired. The following day, Kenobi spends time with Anakin, talking to him about the force and the ways of the Jedi, but Anakin feigns interest, reluctant to believe in something so fantastical. Anakin shows Obi-Wan his land speeder which he has been repairing with his friend, Owen, in his spare time. He shows considerable skill while driving with it, but cannot keep it functioning for very long, which frustrates him. Obi-Wan tries to help him keep a meditative state in attempt to find a solution. Meanwhile, Qui-Gon attempts to make contact with Cocrusant to warn the Senate of the Dooku's plot, but is unable to do get a signal through. Anakin reluctantly agrees to meditate with Obi-Wan, but they are quickly interrupted by Watto, who shouts at Anakin, physically grabs him, and tells him to get back to work. Anakin becomes visibly tense, balling up his fist and looking away from his master with a scowl. Obi-Wan comes to Skywalker's aid and defuses the tension by using a mind trick to calm Watto down. After sending Watto away, Anakin relaxes, impressed at Kenobi's power, he begins to take the Force more seriously. They resume meditation and eventually, Anakin becomes clear minded enough to finally figure out what is wrong with his speeder. He and Owen take a celebratory ride around the outskirts, as Kenobi watches. Later, he tells Qui-Gon of his desire to train Anakin to become a Jedi, Qui-Gon is skeptical as to weather or not Obi-Wan is truly ready to take an apprentice as he himself still has so much more to learn. Kenobi say's they'll learn together, and that he is every bit confident that this is the will of the Force, Qui-Gon is impressed by Obi-Wan's passion and agrees, trusting in his student's judgment. Obi-Wan asks Shmi for permission to teach her son, she agrees, but says that the ultimate obtsicle is Watto. Obi-Wan asks Watto if there is any way he will sell Anakin to him, Watto names his price, which is considerably steep, and Kenobi realizes he does not have nearly enough, to pay for the ship's repairs and Anakin. Qui-Gon suggests that they sell the speeder, Jar Jar takes them to "a guy he knows" who will buy the speeder. They do not get nearly enough, but Kenobi uses another mind trick to sweeten the deal. Owen learns of Anakin selling the speeder and is upset, he urges Anakin not to go with the Jedi, convinced that such a life will bring him nothing but trouble. Anakin tells Owen not to worry, and that he wont be gone forever, he only asks that Owen watch after his family, Owen promises. Shmi and Beru say their goodbyes to Anakin, who leaves with the Jedi. As they're leaving the city, Jar Jar asks if he can come with since it is no longer safe for him on this planet, and that the dealer they sold the speeder to realized he was cheated and holds Jar Jar responsible. They agree he should come with. As they are boarding the ship, Lord Maul suddenly arrives on a speeder bike, and engages them, Oui-Gon activates his Lightsaber, Obi-Wan attempts to do the same but is told to get everyone aboard. Lord Maul activates a lightsaber of his own and the two begin a fierce duel. Obi-Wan tells Anakin to start the ship and fly in low so he can grab Qui-Gon from the entrance ramp. Jinn force pushes Maul into the distance and escapes. Maul contacts Dooku via hologram and informs him of his failure. Dooku tells him not to worry because it is now too late for anyone to stop the invasion, "An invasion, which you will lead, my friend" says Dooku.
Back on the ship, Obi-Wan offers to relieve Anakin of pilot duties, but Anakin turns down the offer because he's been dreaming of flying a ship like this his whole life. Eventually, the group arrives on Corusant, the two Jedi immediately report to the senate, who are reluctant to believe that such a massive cloning facility could even exist so far from the core worlds. The Senators nominated for Chancellor discuss what to do, knowing that eventually one of them will have to make a decision on the matter. Senator Organa is convinced that the Jedi tell the truth, and that they should form a strike force to investigate the threat. On the other hand, Senator Palpatine thinks it is too soon to make such a rash decision, and advises that they await for more evidence, the other Senators agree. Meanwhile, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan take Anakin to the Jedi Temple, where they hope to train him. Anakin asks what they mean by "hope to" and is told that he must first be brought before Master Yoda the Jedi Council. Obi-Wan describes Yoda as the most powerful and wise of all the Jedi, but when Anakin meets Yoda, he is surprised to find how small he is. Master Yoda laughs it off and says that "More to power there is, than height". Qui-Gon tells the council of Dooku's turn to the Dark Side, the impending attack on the city, and the possibility of war. The Council knows that the Jedi will be called to serve in combat, and that such turmoil could endanger the Order, as it has in the past. The Council then studies Anakin and agrees that he is in fact very strong in the force, but are not certain that he has the potential to become a Jedi. Anakin and Obi-Wan are disheartened, but Yoda tells them to have hope, that "Clouded are The Council's minds, over other matters. Nothing to worry about this is, pass in time it will". Outside the Temple, Obi-Wan and Anakin meet Senator Organa and his understudy Padme' Amidala who is studying to become a Senator. Accompanying them is a silver plated Protocol Droid who attempts to introduce himself "Hello, Master Jedi! I am C-3P0, Human Cyborg relations and..." but he is quickly silenced by Organa, because there are important matters to discuss. Organa says that he needs the Jedi's help to convince the Senate to invade the Cloner's planet, but Obi-Wan says that it is not the Jedi's place to decide weather or not a War is needed. Organa understands but still asks that they try to convince the senate that the threat is at least real for no once else but he, seems to believe the claim of a Clone Army. Obi-Wan assures Bail that the Jedi are more troubled by this threat than can be imagined and they must first decide for themselves if they even wish to get involved at all.
The following day, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, with Jar Jar in tow (because he "Had no where else to be") meet with the Senators on behalf of the Jedi order a to inform them of their decision to stay out of the Republic's affair. Bail is disappointed, but Palpatine is understanding, and claims to admire the Jedi's commitment to their beliefs. Suddenly, at that very moment, huge battleship appears over Corusant, hundreds of dropships land on the planet surface and dispense thousands of Cloned soldiers wearing dark armor. The Clones begin to wreak havoc on the city killing everyone in sight, making their way to the Senate building. Senate security is no match for the fearsome Clone Troopers, and eventually the hoard makes it's way to the top office, where the nominated Senators, Binks, and the Jedi are. A few guards make their way up to the office first and attempt to barricade the door, but to no avail. The Clones burst in and open fire on the Senators. Palpatine, Organa, and Binks avoid the fire, diving behind chairs and alike, while Kenobi and Jinn kill the Clones with their Lightsabers. The other Senators and guards are killed. Suddenly, Lord Maul appears, taking off his heavy black robe to reveal his tattooed face and Zabrak horns, he activates his Lightsaber, which is in fact, double bladed. Qui-Gon and Kenobi tell Binks to get the two Senators out of the building to safety and engage Maul in combat. Binks and Organa grab blasters off the floor and attempt to make their way with Palpatine to the Jedi Temple "My luck never changes" says Binks. Meanwhile, alarms sound all throughout the city, Anakin, who was wandering the streets near the Jedi temple when the City was attacked, watches as a group of people in flight suits rush to a nearby hanger bay. These people are the City's volunteer fighter pilots, usually nothing but escorts for dignitaries and such, but they are now preparing to assault the Clone command ship. Anakin approaches the squad commander and offers to help, but "Commander Antilles" tells him it's too dangerous. Anakin protests and says that he is more than capable of flying, and that they need all the help they can get. Antilles has little time to waste so he agrees, but tells him that Anakin must follow his orders. Anakin gets into the cockpit of a fighter which has its own Astromech Droid. Anakin is somewhat nervous, and jokingly introduces himself to the droid "Uh.. hi,.. droid I'm Anakin Skywalker" (droid responds through ship translator) "Oh.. okay R2-D2, well, nice to meet you, let's hope for the best, huh?". The Fighters take off into space, set on destroying the Clone command ship, which Dooku is aboard, overseeing the invasion.
Back in the streets, Binks, Organa, and Palpatine, are fighting their way on foot to the Jedi Temple, when Padme pulls up beside them in Senator Organa's landspeeder, (with C3-P0 in the back muttering "Oh dear.. oh dear oh dear!") they all hop in and drive the rest of the way to the Temple, while every civilian in the city with a blaster attempts to defend themselves, pushing back the Clones and best they can. The Clones, having also made their way to the Temple, find hundreds of Jedi standing on the steps. The Knights take a look at the destruction around them, and without a moments hesitation, activate their Lightsabers and engage the Clones.
Meanwhile, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon furiously battle Lord Maul, their fight has made its way to an outside walkway between the buildings, the heights are perilous, and one false step could kill any one of them. Maul's superior agility allows him to get the upper hand, he uses a swift kick to knock Kenobi backward and onto a lower ledge. Kenobi regains his composure and watches as Jinn and Maul continue to fight. Kenobi climbs a nearby ladder to get back to the fight, which has already moved away from the walkway to a landing pad on the side of the building. Back in space, the Fighters desperately try to get to the Command Ship's weak spot inside, the main power core. The ship's defenses are strong, and fighters are being destroyed by the dozens. Commander Antilles tries to keep the squadron together, telling them to concentrate on getting inside the ship via the hanger. A few fighters attempt to get through, but are either shot down or crash near the surface, Antilles calls for a retreat, but Anakin doesn't listen and makes an attempt to enter the hanger. Antilles says "Don't be a fool, son, you can't possibly be that good of a pilot!" Anakin replies "Let's hope you're wrong". With one desperate dive, Skywalker makes it through, much to Antilles astonishment. R2-D2 throws up a diagram on the fighters view screen of what the power core looks like, and where to hit it. Anakin finds the core and fires several laser blasts at it. The core flickers and gives out, shooting off sparks and flames. On the command bridge, the main officer informs Dooku that they have lost power. Realizing he has lost, Dooku makes his way to his escape cruiser in the back of the ship. The main officer follows, but is turned away because "There is only room, for one" according to Dooku. The escape cruiser launches out just in time, as the rest of the hanger is consumes by flames. Anakin, meanwhile races his fighter out of the other end of the ship as flames billow behind him. He escapes with moments to spare and joins the rest of the squadron who cheer in celebration. Back on Coruscant, the dropships begin to self destruct and the remaining Clones are killed by the Jedi.
At the same time, Qui-Gon and Maul continue to duel, as Obi-Wan races to join them. Jinn seems to be gaining the upper hand, but Maul distracts him by hitting him on the chin with his Lightsaber hilt, taking advantage of this, Maul stabs Jinn through the stomach. Jinn falls to the floor as Obi-Wan screams in dismay. Maul turns his attention to the young Jedi, who is teeming with anger. Maul paces back and forth expectantly, waiting for Kenobi to strike. Kenobi lunges at Maul with intense speed, swinging his Lightsaber furiously, Maul grins with excitement at the challenge, blocking and spinning with style and deadliness. Kenobi's swings become more and more intense and Maul is taken aback, but not for long. He Force pushes the young Jedi towards the edge of the landing pad, and Kenobi rolls off, grabbing onto a support beam on the edge as his saber falls below. Maul toys with Kenobi, swinging his blade along the edge of the platform causing sparks to rain down on the Jedi. Obi-Wan thinks for a moment.. closing his eyes and channeling the Force, in an instant, he takes a leap of faith soaring over Maul's head, and grabbing his fallen master;s Lightsaber. Maul is temporarily distracted by his own amazement, he attempts to block Kenobi's strike, but his saber is cut in half and he is left defenseless. With one wild swing, Obi-Wan slices across Maul's torso. Maul is frozen in shock and disbelief, he does not move, he only looks at Kenobi, as hundreds of Clone dropships explode in the city below, "It's over!" Kenobi says, "No" Maul whispers "It has only just begun". Maul falls backward off the platform and down to the streets below. Kenobi, rushes to his master, who lays dying. Obi-Wan holds him in his arms and hears Qui-Gon's final words "You are a powerful Jedi, my friend, and a good man. The Force will be with you, always". Qui-Gon Jinn's body disappears, leaving only his robes behind.
A few days later, the City celebrates, victory over the invasion, Commander Antilles and his squadron are awarded medals of bravery, Jar Jar Binks is commended as well for his protection of the senators. The Senate votes on a new Chancellor. Palpatine is chosen due to his seniority and experience, Organa is not picked dues to his "Less than senatorial conduct during the attack". However, Chancellor Palpatine does in fact begin the creation of an Army for the Republic as Organa had desired now that the threat is confirmed to be very real. Meanwhile, in another part of space, Dooku's ship arrives on a small space station, he enters the hanger and is greeted by a hologram of a man in a cloak, his face is hidden in shadow. "The invasion was a failure, Master" Says Dooku "Just as intended" the Master replies. Dooku informs his master that Lord Maul was killed in the invasion, but is assured that it is of no consequence. "Everything is transpiring as I desire, the stage is set, Count Dooku, the Clone Wars have begun".
At the Jedi Temple, Anakin is brought before the Council once more, they agree that his actions were noble and selfless, and that he is to become a Jedi. Obi-Wan mourns the loss of his master and friend, and wonders what he will do without a mentor. Yoda puts a hand of comfort on Kenobi's shoulder and tells him that he will hep as best he can. Obi-Wan Kenobi and his new apprentice, Anakin Skywalker stand side by side in the Jedi temple, looking forward to the future, however uncertain it may be.
The End
(Complete with John Williams Music)
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Star Spangled Man
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
In Brightest Day In Blackest Night
A little piece I whipped up of Green Lantern (Hal Jordan) and Sinestro (leader of Sinestro Corps). Thought the movie could have been better, but oh well.
Green Lantern and Sinestro (c) DC Comics
Green Lantern and Sinestro (c) DC Comics
Friday, June 3, 2011
Ashley J. Williams
One of my favorite fictional heroes, Ashley J. Williams of Evil Dead fame, holding his much hated inanimate arch enemy, The Necronomicon!
"Sure, I could have stayed, could have even been King!.. but in my own way, I am King... Hail to the King, Baby"
Friday, May 27, 2011
Sunday, May 22, 2011
And I mean right now.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
'Sucker Punch' Movie Reveiw
Just came back from the theater having seen Sucker Punch and here's my two cents on it.
The film is good, with dazzling action scenes and titillating leading ladies, it's everything a nerd could ask for. You follow the tale of a girl known only as "Baby Doll" who is wrongfully committed to a mental hospital by her step father, with no one to trust aside from some of the other inmates, 'Sweet Pea', 'Rocket', 'Amber', and 'Blondie' (all of whom are very pretty girls). Together they try to find a way out of the madhouse, with every step they take being vividly imagined by 'Baby Doll' as an exciting action adventure.
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So, one drawback to this movie is the predictability, anyone who's seen enough movies can foresee the ending to this thing. However... there is a moment where all you genre savvy people will second guess yourselves "Are they in a fantasy or this part really happening?" "So is she just imagining he's like that or is that how he really is" "Was the first part the dream or is this part fake?". This is something about the movie that I really admire, they took a premise we've seen done before, then turned it against us by creating what I can only describe as "Soft Core Inception". Some folks may just assume that the film is an exploitative action mess, with no real depth, and that it's just an excuse for guys to see a bunch of shallow sluts run amok and shoot things. This is... okay yeah, it's sort of true, but not to such a large extent. The girls are sexy, yes, but that's not all they are... okay that's a lot of who they are, but they're tough and you'll find yourself rooting for them and admiring how bad ass they are. I'd say this is a very pro girl power movie, there is really only one male protagonist to speak of and he doesn't do much fighting, the rest of the fellas are all less than gentlemanly. One could even argue that the film makes a statement about how women are treated as sex objects, when really they should be treated like the strong fighters that they really are....
aw who am I kidding, I just want to see cool explosions and some miniskirts and this film delivers.
The action sequences are great, each one having it's own unique flavor that taps into a different genre of fantasy, my personal favorite being the one that has German zombies in WWI (this is especially unique because most people would've chosen WWII). The thing that makes these scenes so cool is how they mix the flavors of Japanese Anime and Western Action together in a special blend that satisfies all fan bases. Director, Zack Snyder, has already proven he's one of us by bringing us Frank Miller's 300, Alan Moore's Watchmen, and the 2004 remake of Dawn of the Dead, to the big screen, and now with Sucker Punch he's done it again, only this one was actually co-written by him! It's no wonder he's slated to direct the new Superman movie, this guy's got it.
Go see this movie, weather you're in it for the action or the *ahem* beautiful imagery, you wont be disappointed, and if at any point you start to start to lose track and are confused by the plot, don't worry about it, just enjoy yourself, let go. That's really what this movie is all about, letting go inside a fantasy world.
Oh, and one more thing....
I give this movie four and a half school girl outfits out of five.
The film is good, with dazzling action scenes and titillating leading ladies, it's everything a nerd could ask for. You follow the tale of a girl known only as "Baby Doll" who is wrongfully committed to a mental hospital by her step father, with no one to trust aside from some of the other inmates, 'Sweet Pea', 'Rocket', 'Amber', and 'Blondie' (all of whom are very pretty girls). Together they try to find a way out of the madhouse, with every step they take being vividly imagined by 'Baby Doll' as an exciting action adventure.
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So, one drawback to this movie is the predictability, anyone who's seen enough movies can foresee the ending to this thing. However... there is a moment where all you genre savvy people will second guess yourselves "Are they in a fantasy or this part really happening?" "So is she just imagining he's like that or is that how he really is" "Was the first part the dream or is this part fake?". This is something about the movie that I really admire, they took a premise we've seen done before, then turned it against us by creating what I can only describe as "Soft Core Inception". Some folks may just assume that the film is an exploitative action mess, with no real depth, and that it's just an excuse for guys to see a bunch of shallow sluts run amok and shoot things. This is... okay yeah, it's sort of true, but not to such a large extent. The girls are sexy, yes, but that's not all they are... okay that's a lot of who they are, but they're tough and you'll find yourself rooting for them and admiring how bad ass they are. I'd say this is a very pro girl power movie, there is really only one male protagonist to speak of and he doesn't do much fighting, the rest of the fellas are all less than gentlemanly. One could even argue that the film makes a statement about how women are treated as sex objects, when really they should be treated like the strong fighters that they really are....
aw who am I kidding, I just want to see cool explosions and some miniskirts and this film delivers.
The action sequences are great, each one having it's own unique flavor that taps into a different genre of fantasy, my personal favorite being the one that has German zombies in WWI (this is especially unique because most people would've chosen WWII). The thing that makes these scenes so cool is how they mix the flavors of Japanese Anime and Western Action together in a special blend that satisfies all fan bases. Director, Zack Snyder, has already proven he's one of us by bringing us Frank Miller's 300, Alan Moore's Watchmen, and the 2004 remake of Dawn of the Dead, to the big screen, and now with Sucker Punch he's done it again, only this one was actually co-written by him! It's no wonder he's slated to direct the new Superman movie, this guy's got it.
Go see this movie, weather you're in it for the action or the *ahem* beautiful imagery, you wont be disappointed, and if at any point you start to start to lose track and are confused by the plot, don't worry about it, just enjoy yourself, let go. That's really what this movie is all about, letting go inside a fantasy world.
Oh, and one more thing....
I give this movie four and a half school girl outfits out of five.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
'Paul' Movie Reveiw
I just came back from seeing Paul starring Nick Frost, Simon Pegg, and Seth Rogen. Now I'm sure some reviewers have come down hard on this movie for it's coarse language and somewhat lewd humor, but I say they can go probe themselves because this film is great!
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Simon Pegg and Nick Frost once again deliver great laughs as a couple of nerdy buddies who have come all the way from England to see the famous alien hot spots of America, like Roswell and Area 51. After a delightful tour of San Diego Comic Con, the two aspiring Sci Fi writers head on an RV road trip which seems like the perfect set up for your typical cross country comedy, until suddenly things get interesting. They meet Paul (Seth Rogan) who is attempting to get back to his ship and leave Earth. The two agree to help, but are chased by a trio of government agents working for a mysterious woman.
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Okay, so, you don't have to be a sci fi fan to like this movie, but it certainly helps! This film is an open love letter to science fiction pop culture, poking fun at the genre and making references to everything from Star Wars to X-Files. It's not so much a parody of science fiction, but a story made to celebrate the spirit of it.
The movie pokes fun at Creationism and Bible thumpers but only for a moment, it's not the main focus of the story, but it is discussed (with Paul being pro evolution). This may turn off a few more conservative types, but if they can't take a joke, well then that's their loss. The coarse language is the main reason for the R rating, with very creative swear words delivered by the whole cast (but mostly Paul) and a bit of violence, but nothing as graphic as Shaun of the Dead or Hot Fuzz.
Most people have been initially turned away from seeing the film, due to Seth Rogen supplying the voice of Paul, perhaps because his voice is so distinctive or that he's been in so many other projects as of late, but you movie goers have nothing to fear. Rogen's presence does not eclipse the film as one thought it might, he meshes well with his costars and blends into his character. At no point in the film do I feel as though I'm listening to Rogen talking through Paul, I always feel as though I'm just hearing Paul, maybe it's because Rogen's character is so alien that I'm able to separate him from the actor. That's not to say that a little of Seth doesn't shine through though, but if it didn't then what would be the point, right? While we're on the subject, let's talk about Paul himself, he looks so real that I at one point forgot that he was CGI. It's a shame we're so jaded about that sort of thing now, because it really is amazing when you look at it.
Now on to the rest of the cast, Pegg and Frost once again deliver another convincing friendship like they do in 'Shaun Of The Dead' and 'Hot Fuzz', but this time making room for their third amigo, Paul, creating something unique. Jason Batemen plays Agent Zoil, a deadly serious Special Agent hot in pursuit of the heroes. He's accompanied by two bungling rookie agents played brilliantly by Bill Hader and Joe Lo Truglio who create the classic "Guys who want to be good at their jobs, but are to stupid to be taken seriously" duo that we all love. The rest of the film is packed with fantastic actors like Jane Lynch and Jeffery Tambor as well as cameo's by some pretty fine folks (you'll have to go see the film yourself to find out who they are).
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Final Thoughts, this film is great, perfect for geeks like me, or anyone with a sense of humor. It has great laughs as well as genuine emotion and some wonderful wit that is the culmination of some brilliant actors and comedians working together in just the right way. This movie isn't an actual part of The Blood & Ice Cream Trilogy , but it damn well is a close encounter. If I could describe this movie, I would say it's like "E.T. meets Shaun of The Dead, with a bit of Pineapple Express sprinkled on top" (sounds good doesn't it?).
I wont say this movie is "out of this world" because that's really cliche, but I will say that you should prepared to be abducted by laughs and probed by delight, because 'Paul' is not to be missed. Trust me, you'll want to believe.
I give this movie five Flying Saucers out of five.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Simon Pegg and Nick Frost once again deliver great laughs as a couple of nerdy buddies who have come all the way from England to see the famous alien hot spots of America, like Roswell and Area 51. After a delightful tour of San Diego Comic Con, the two aspiring Sci Fi writers head on an RV road trip which seems like the perfect set up for your typical cross country comedy, until suddenly things get interesting. They meet Paul (Seth Rogan) who is attempting to get back to his ship and leave Earth. The two agree to help, but are chased by a trio of government agents working for a mysterious woman.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Okay, so, you don't have to be a sci fi fan to like this movie, but it certainly helps! This film is an open love letter to science fiction pop culture, poking fun at the genre and making references to everything from Star Wars to X-Files. It's not so much a parody of science fiction, but a story made to celebrate the spirit of it.
The movie pokes fun at Creationism and Bible thumpers but only for a moment, it's not the main focus of the story, but it is discussed (with Paul being pro evolution). This may turn off a few more conservative types, but if they can't take a joke, well then that's their loss. The coarse language is the main reason for the R rating, with very creative swear words delivered by the whole cast (but mostly Paul) and a bit of violence, but nothing as graphic as Shaun of the Dead or Hot Fuzz.
Most people have been initially turned away from seeing the film, due to Seth Rogen supplying the voice of Paul, perhaps because his voice is so distinctive or that he's been in so many other projects as of late, but you movie goers have nothing to fear. Rogen's presence does not eclipse the film as one thought it might, he meshes well with his costars and blends into his character. At no point in the film do I feel as though I'm listening to Rogen talking through Paul, I always feel as though I'm just hearing Paul, maybe it's because Rogen's character is so alien that I'm able to separate him from the actor. That's not to say that a little of Seth doesn't shine through though, but if it didn't then what would be the point, right? While we're on the subject, let's talk about Paul himself, he looks so real that I at one point forgot that he was CGI. It's a shame we're so jaded about that sort of thing now, because it really is amazing when you look at it.
Now on to the rest of the cast, Pegg and Frost once again deliver another convincing friendship like they do in 'Shaun Of The Dead' and 'Hot Fuzz', but this time making room for their third amigo, Paul, creating something unique. Jason Batemen plays Agent Zoil, a deadly serious Special Agent hot in pursuit of the heroes. He's accompanied by two bungling rookie agents played brilliantly by Bill Hader and Joe Lo Truglio who create the classic "Guys who want to be good at their jobs, but are to stupid to be taken seriously" duo that we all love. The rest of the film is packed with fantastic actors like Jane Lynch and Jeffery Tambor as well as cameo's by some pretty fine folks (you'll have to go see the film yourself to find out who they are).
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Final Thoughts, this film is great, perfect for geeks like me, or anyone with a sense of humor. It has great laughs as well as genuine emotion and some wonderful wit that is the culmination of some brilliant actors and comedians working together in just the right way. This movie isn't an actual part of The Blood & Ice Cream Trilogy , but it damn well is a close encounter. If I could describe this movie, I would say it's like "E.T. meets Shaun of The Dead, with a bit of Pineapple Express sprinkled on top" (sounds good doesn't it?).
I wont say this movie is "out of this world" because that's really cliche, but I will say that you should prepared to be abducted by laughs and probed by delight, because 'Paul' is not to be missed. Trust me, you'll want to believe.
I give this movie five Flying Saucers out of five.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
The Internet Vampire.
It's finally happened, I had feared it for a while, but figured only big chains like BlockBuster were in danger, but it finally happened, my local video store is closing down. I had long since feared that this would happen, but thought that if I just kept giving them support, somehow that would protect them, but alas, I failed.
Now I know that there are a lot of drawbacks to a video store, like late fees, fearing that you'll damage the disc, and the possibility that the movie you want may be rented out by someone else when you get there, but there's one thing that it does have, human interaction. There's a real charm in being able to strike up a conversation with the sales clerk or another customer, that you just can't get with something like Netflix.
Have you ever been sitting at home with your friends or family or significant other, and you decide that you really don't want to go out tonight, you'd rather stay home and relax with some popcorn and a couple of movies. So what do you do? Well you put on your coat and walk or drive to the video store, there you'll enter through the doors and you'll get to play the picking game! "Should I rent an action movie or a comedy?", "No, we've seen that a million times already, let's see something we haven't seen before", "Why don't we rent some horror movies and be scared?". Then after you've chosen a film, you venture back and are rewarded with the comfort and warmth of the house. You've made and evening out of staying at home!
Now compare that to having an instant service, you decide you don't want to go out tonight, so one of you musters the strength to reach across the couch for your remote so you can scroll through your options and pick something that looks good. Now it's true that you have an unlimited cache of films to choose from, but that means that you're not committed to any one of them, so at any time if you get bored with your intended film, or you suddenly have the urge to watch another, no problem, you can just stop it and start up a new one, and why not check your email or text someone while you're at it? Of course I'm making this option seem less glamorous than it is, and I do know that there are plenty of things that I'm sure I'd love about having it, but what I'm saying is, Video stores used to be fun, they weren't the most foolproof way of doing what they did, but they made us interact with one another and forced us to go outside and get some fresh air even when we may not have wanted to.
That being said, when the video store inevitably does become extinct, I'm sure that I too will get a netflix or whatever, and I'll probably enjoy it, but I'll still miss that human interaction that I get when I go out to rent a movie.
The Internet Vampire isn't just draining the video store though, it's also taken it's toll on Books. Last December, my favorite bookstore, a place I'd been going to read and draw and socialize since I was in middle school, closed it's doors forever. Then, just last month, the big bookstore in the Downtown area, announced it was closing down too, thus insuring that I have one less thing to do when I go there. Of course this is most likely due to things like the Nook and the Kindle, devices that allow you to store dozens of books to read without taking up room space, but once again, have no charm. Also, last time I checked, you didn't need to charge a paper book, or have to rub your eyes from staring at it's artificially lit pages for too long, and if you got it wet it would short out and be unusable instead of getting a little wrinkly. If I may quote a legend... "You'll never have as good a time starring at a page on a screen, as you will actually holding something in your hands", Stan "The Man" Lee said that on a documentary about the history of comics and I could not agree more with him. Tell me, what looks better on a shelf? A huge row of books ranging from science fiction and romance to history and suspense, each one bound in a different cover, ready to be pulled down and read again? or a shiny piece of plastic crap that will become outdated in a matter of months? You decide dear reader.
Okay, how 'bout this? Imagine that scene in Beauty and the Beast where the Beast pulls down the curtains of the room to reveal that beautiful library filled with books for Belle to read, Her eyes light up with excitement, He's made her so happy with that grand gesture and shown that he has a heart after all. Now picture that same scene, but instead he just hands her a Kindle which is most likely alive because everything in that house talks, much less magical don't you think?
A guy who worked at the aforementioned favorite bookstore said that "There's something civilizing about a bookstore" which I also agree with very much. It's quite true, bookstores are relatively quiet, clean, and any good one wont give you shit for just sitting around. What's more, is that once again, you have that human interaction I was talking about. Sometimes you'll see people at the big tables playing table top games, or reading together, or even just talking. Either way, they're having a good time.
Now I have one final thing to mention before I finish, one of the earliest and most prevalent victims of the Vampire... Newspapers! (dramatic music!) Okay now this one I can understand a bit more, when it comes to getting the latest news out there, the Internet has 'em beat, the only thing news companies like the New York Times and the SF Chronicle can do to stay afloat is to go digital I'm afraid. However, there are things that I will miss, like saving newspaper clippings from important events or putting the latest Foxtrot on your fridge. Also you have to think about all those aspiring journalists and artists out there who would love nothing more than to have their article or strip in the paper. Sure, anyone can post something up on the internet and have people see it (you're reading this aren't you?) but to actually have something "Make The Papers" is a real accomplishment! On another note, what will happen in movies when something interesting occurs? The age old "Spinning Newspaper" gag is in danger of becoming extinct! and where the hell are Peter Parker and Clark Kent supposed to work?
Anyhow, that's my piece for the day, now close that damn laptop of yours and go talk to the person across from you at the Cafe, maybe you'll make a new friend? Or maybe they'll tell you to fuck off because they're too busy playing Bejeweled on their laptop. Don't let that discourage you though, give it a try anyway.
Friday, January 28, 2011
I want this on a T-Shirt
Let's all go to the lobby! Let's all go to the lobby! Let's all go to the lobby, to go and get some saAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! HELP! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
I drew this a while back, and it's still one of my favorite things in the world. If I could find a way to make it into a T-Shirt I would. Maybe if enough people ask, I will.
(c) Me
I drew this a while back, and it's still one of my favorite things in the world. If I could find a way to make it into a T-Shirt I would. Maybe if enough people ask, I will.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
My Review of 'The Green Hornet'
I just came back from seeing The Green Hornet, and at present I have mixed feelings about it.
For the most part, I found myself enjoying the film, chuckling and laughing at the hilarious dynamic of the two heroes and over the top action sequences, yet in spite of all that, I left the movie theater feeling somewhat let down. I remember when I saw the first trailer for this film and thinking "Eh, that looks pretty good" but as the film got closer to it's release, my expectations started to rise, only to have them drop back down to "Eh, that was pretty good".
In this era of comic books turned movies, with juggernaut franchises like Iron Man and The Dark Knight Trilogy, it can be hard to stand out from the crowd. The Green Hornet does it's best to keep that edgy Kick-Ass vibe while staying true to the original source material as possible without feeling out dated, yet somehow, something just doesn't mix.
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Seth Rogen's performance as the title character could be seen as one of the films best highlights or one of it's biggest weaknesses. While Rogen's Hornet is entertaining enough, scrambling about trying to throw punches while his partner, Kato (played by Jay Chou) does all the real work, creating a classic "Funnyman/Straightman" partnership, it can get rather annoying. Now it's true that Kato had always been the one who did the serious fighting, while the Hornet by contrast was less hands on, but if Rogen's Hornet is going to be goofy and a little bit thick headed, it wouldn't hurt to make him a little more handy in a fight or a bit more serious (at least in front of the bad guys) so as to excuse it. Though of course the duo is just starting out their crime fighting career, and The Hornet could eventually become a much better fighter as time went on, which is evident in the climax of the film.
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Jay Chou's performance as Kato is definitely a show stealer. One of the films main reason for delay was due to the quest to find someone to fill the shoes left by the legendary Bruce Lee. I'd say they picked the right man for the job. Chou is the perfect mixture of reserved dignity and badass hero to guarantee that we'll be seeing plenty of people dressed as Kato at comic conventions this year.
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Of course no heroes are complete without their villains. Oscar Winner, Chirstoph Waltz plays the films primary antagonist, a somewhat comical gangster, Benjamin Chudnofsky, who goes to great lengths to prove how dangerous he is. Waltz is funny, shooting underlings who displease him while fuming about how the Green Hornet is trying to muscle in on his territory, but at some point he becomes a little too funny for his own good, going from an interesting and edgy villain, to someone you just can't take seriously. Though one could argue that this is part of his charm, and after all, if it's getting laughs, then the actor must be doing something right.
____________________________________________________________
The films main problem is that it doesn't know what it wants to be, the comedic overtones clash with the action story that the movie tries to tell, which almost turns the whole thing into a parody of a comic book movie rather than an adaptation. If you had the mindset that this film was going to be more serious than the trailers lead you to believe, get out of that mindset, it's everything the trailers say it is.
All criticism aside, this film is not bad, the over the top action scenes and wonderful comedy dialogue make for a very entertaining experience. Seth Rogen's bumbling heroics mesh well with Jay Chou's cool collected demeanor, creating a fantastic dynamic that feels real. There are plenty of shout outs to the original TV series and everyone in the film does their part well. This is the type of film that you may leave the theater feeling a bit disappointed by, but later on as you're talking about it, you'll be recounting all the best parts and looking back on it fondly. You'll probably find yourself watching it again at some point and having a much better time because now you know what to expect. I'd say this film is good enough to warrant a sequel that will allow it to smooth down its rough edges.
I give this movie three and a half hornets out of five.
For the most part, I found myself enjoying the film, chuckling and laughing at the hilarious dynamic of the two heroes and over the top action sequences, yet in spite of all that, I left the movie theater feeling somewhat let down. I remember when I saw the first trailer for this film and thinking "Eh, that looks pretty good" but as the film got closer to it's release, my expectations started to rise, only to have them drop back down to "Eh, that was pretty good".
In this era of comic books turned movies, with juggernaut franchises like Iron Man and The Dark Knight Trilogy, it can be hard to stand out from the crowd. The Green Hornet does it's best to keep that edgy Kick-Ass vibe while staying true to the original source material as possible without feeling out dated, yet somehow, something just doesn't mix.
____________________________________________________________
Seth Rogen's performance as the title character could be seen as one of the films best highlights or one of it's biggest weaknesses. While Rogen's Hornet is entertaining enough, scrambling about trying to throw punches while his partner, Kato (played by Jay Chou) does all the real work, creating a classic "Funnyman/Straightman" partnership, it can get rather annoying. Now it's true that Kato had always been the one who did the serious fighting, while the Hornet by contrast was less hands on, but if Rogen's Hornet is going to be goofy and a little bit thick headed, it wouldn't hurt to make him a little more handy in a fight or a bit more serious (at least in front of the bad guys) so as to excuse it. Though of course the duo is just starting out their crime fighting career, and The Hornet could eventually become a much better fighter as time went on, which is evident in the climax of the film.
____________________________________________________________
Jay Chou's performance as Kato is definitely a show stealer. One of the films main reason for delay was due to the quest to find someone to fill the shoes left by the legendary Bruce Lee. I'd say they picked the right man for the job. Chou is the perfect mixture of reserved dignity and badass hero to guarantee that we'll be seeing plenty of people dressed as Kato at comic conventions this year.
___________________________________________________________
Of course no heroes are complete without their villains. Oscar Winner, Chirstoph Waltz plays the films primary antagonist, a somewhat comical gangster, Benjamin Chudnofsky, who goes to great lengths to prove how dangerous he is. Waltz is funny, shooting underlings who displease him while fuming about how the Green Hornet is trying to muscle in on his territory, but at some point he becomes a little too funny for his own good, going from an interesting and edgy villain, to someone you just can't take seriously. Though one could argue that this is part of his charm, and after all, if it's getting laughs, then the actor must be doing something right.
____________________________________________________________
The films main problem is that it doesn't know what it wants to be, the comedic overtones clash with the action story that the movie tries to tell, which almost turns the whole thing into a parody of a comic book movie rather than an adaptation. If you had the mindset that this film was going to be more serious than the trailers lead you to believe, get out of that mindset, it's everything the trailers say it is.
All criticism aside, this film is not bad, the over the top action scenes and wonderful comedy dialogue make for a very entertaining experience. Seth Rogen's bumbling heroics mesh well with Jay Chou's cool collected demeanor, creating a fantastic dynamic that feels real. There are plenty of shout outs to the original TV series and everyone in the film does their part well. This is the type of film that you may leave the theater feeling a bit disappointed by, but later on as you're talking about it, you'll be recounting all the best parts and looking back on it fondly. You'll probably find yourself watching it again at some point and having a much better time because now you know what to expect. I'd say this film is good enough to warrant a sequel that will allow it to smooth down its rough edges.
I give this movie three and a half hornets out of five.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Marvel/DC Villains
This is just a way of showing you my art style. I'll be posting original stuff most of the time.
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